MY NAME IS MARY

My name is Mary. I ran away from home when I was twelve. Too young you say? Well what the hell do you know about it? My family didn’t want me. My mother especially didn’t want me and everyone thought I was a bad seed. Would you have stayed for that kind of life? No, I didn’t think so. My only choice was to leave, and that’s okay, I was fine without them. I got along fine on my own; really I did.
My life wasn’t always pleasant, but not everyone can live happily ever after, and besides, it was no less than I deserved. No less a life than someone like me should have… after what I did. I didn’t let it bother me, not really. I made enough money to live on, and even when I made more, I’d grown used to not having anything so the money didn’t really matter. I can pack up everything I own in one of those fancy travel bags, you know- the ones on wheels? I don’t like clutter. I don’t need things.
Friends? I had a friend once…it’s been a long, long time since I saw him, or talked to him. He was my only friend, but that was okay. People are false anyway. They promise you things, make you believe in them, then take it all away the moment you feel safe. They hurt you. They damage you. I’m better off without those kinds of friends. Anyway, I’m not a great judge of character, can’t tell the good ones from the bad, so it is better to stay away from people all together, maintain a healthy distance, you know? I can’t let anyone get too close.
I have a career, a good career. Do I enjoy it? I work hard at it and am very good at what I do. Is that what it means to enjoy it? Am I happy? Is anyone, really happy? There’s so much death in the world, so much violence, so much abandonment. It’s better to just shut yourself off from all of it and not take the chance, you know?
What do I do for fun? Well…my father died recently and I’ve moved back home to finish renovating my family home, because it was what he had started; what he had wanted. I don’t know if I would call it fun. Was he proud of me? My father? No. Why would he be? How could he be? I was nothing to him.

They’re all gone now, Dad, mom, my sisters. No one left but me, that’s the only reason he even contacted me after all these years. He always hated to leave a project unfinished. I was his last choice really, and all that’s gotten me is stuck on this Godforsaken island, in an old house, haunted with ghosts and memories. I should have never come back. There’s nothing here for me…well…there’s nothing anywhere for me, but that is besides the point.

There’s Tonya, here for more cleaning I expect. She’s a pushy broad, looking for friendship, I keep telling her she won’t find it here. She needs to look somewhere better than here for that. I’m no good a friends, I suck as a friend. I don’t deserve her as a friend.

Anyway, work to do… I’d better get back to it

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June 17, 2013 · 6:59 pm

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