Meet Tonya, from Mary’s Tears- Now on Tour!!

Wadd’ya at B’yes?

I’m Tonya, for a good time call (winks) and all that. I’ve lived on The Rock all my life and haven’t the smallest inkling to go anywhere else. This is home and exactly where I want to be. Of course, I might have to leave sooner or later to find me a man, you know, because the ratio of us women to men in this place is three-to-one, and all the best ones are taken…or gay.

Are you gonna eat those chips? I loves me some chips. Did you get these off Ziggy’s truck or what? Mmmmm…some good, right? Smothered in gravy and dressing and…What? Oh, what do I do? Oh, I teach fifth grader’s at Holy Heart of the Immaculate. What a buggerin’ lot they are too! Sometimes I want to tear a strip of their arse, others I want to kiss the face right off them. Off for the summer though, thank Christ!

Mary? Oh sure I know Mary, we’re best friends. Or, we will be once I talk her into it. (winks)! She moved in down the road a piece, keeps to herself a lot; not really the outspoken type, know what I mean?  But then, I’m loud enough for the both of us, right? Got a gob on me that makes gulls weep, yes sir and proud of it. She seems sad a lot of the time, Mary I mean. Kind of broken, like one of them wind up dolls that’s never been wound up. It’ll do her good to be here, here’s a good place to be, after all. There’s a lot of healing on this island, a lot of good people. Yes, she’ll be right as rain soon enough.

Here now fella, I know what you’re thinking…I’m too much woman for you, b’ye. You’d never survive the matting ritual! HA! Oh, but…food and men…they’re my biggest weaknesses…so give us a kiss then luv. Ah, that’s the way. Sure, you could probably use a little healing yourself. Why don’t you come on home with me, I’ll make you a good cup of strong tea and a feed of cod tongues, and then we’ll go for a walk around the shore. Guaranteed to put the pink back in your cheeks and the spring in your step… I promise!

Find out more about Tonya when you buy the book, Mary’s Tears- now on sale below!

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Filed under Ramblings Of A Wee Writer

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